got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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