She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
