Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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