Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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