i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
