I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
