I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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