Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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