he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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