i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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