i just wanna soil my oats bro
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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