I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
