True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
