Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
