i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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