I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
