when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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