Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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