Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
