You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
