So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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