oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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