i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
