the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
