whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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