She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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