but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
