Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
