You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
