I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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