I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
