try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
