My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
