I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
