i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize