My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
