Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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