Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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