I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
