Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
