I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you're hired as official boob wrangler
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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