I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
