I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Pooping to opera.
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