I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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