Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
