im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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