i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
