Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
