is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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