What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
